Showing Yourself Compassion on a Hard Day
We all have those days. You know, the kind where everything seems to go sideways before you’ve even had your coffee. You wake up already behind schedule, your to-do list feels endless, and your energy? Yeah, nowhere to be found. Maybe it’s the kids, maybe it’s work, maybe it’s just life piling up, but today is hard. And on these days, one of the most important things we can do—yet the hardest to remember—is to show ourselves compassion.
But what does “showing yourself compassion” even mean? In a nutshell, it’s about offering yourself the same kindness, patience, and forgiveness that you’d offer to a loved one or a dear friend. It’s about recognizing that you’re human, and humans aren’t perfect. And, spoiler alert: that’s okay.
The Pressure to Always Be "On"
Let’s face it. We live in a world that often glorifies hustle and perfection. Social media can make it look like everyone else has their life together. You see photos of people handling challenges with grace, smiling through chaos, and making productivity seem effortless. It's easy to think, Why can’t I just be more like that?
The truth is, no one has it all figured out. Behind every curated post or success story, there are messy, exhausting days that don’t make it into the highlight reel. On those days, the best thing we can do is remember that we're not machines designed to constantly perform and produce. We have ebbs and flows—good days and bad days.
When you're having a hard day, you might feel frustrated that you're not as productive, patient, or resilient as you "should" be. You might start to mentally beat yourself up, telling yourself you need to “do better” or “try harder.” But here’s the thing: adding pressure doesn't help. What helps is compassion.
What Does Showing Yourself Compassion Look Like?
It’s one thing to say we should show ourselves compassion, but what does that actually look like in practice? Here are some practical ways to show yourself some kindness when the day feels heavier than usual:
1. Lower Your Expectations
We all have this internal list of what we think we should accomplish in a day. But on a hard day, it’s okay to adjust that list. Is it realistic to be 100% “on” when you’re feeling 50%? Not really. If you can’t get through everything you planned, that doesn’t mean you failed—it just means you’re human. Try focusing on what’s truly essential and give yourself permission to let the rest slide. Sometimes just getting through the day is enough.
2. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
Imagine your best friend comes to you, saying they’re overwhelmed, exhausted, and struggling. Would you tell them they’re failing or that they need to push through? Probably not. You’d offer them words of encouragement, support, and maybe even suggest they take a break. Now, try offering that same kindness to yourself. You deserve the same compassion you’d give to someone you love.
3. Embrace Imperfection
Perfectionism is a tough habit to break, but one that often stands in the way of compassion. The reality is, perfection is an impossible standard, and chasing it only leads to disappointment. On hard days, embrace the idea that done is better than perfect. Whether it’s a messy house, a project that didn’t go as planned, or just a day where you didn’t feel like your best self—imperfection is part of life.
4. Take a Break (Without Guilt)
Sometimes, the most productive thing you can do on a hard day is rest. This might look like a 10-minute breather to collect yourself, a short walk to clear your head, or even just a moment to sit quietly and breathe. If you’re a parent or juggling a lot of responsibilities, this can feel like a luxury, but even five minutes can make a difference. And here’s the important part—don’t feel guilty for needing a break. It doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re wise enough to recognize when your body and mind need to pause.
5. Celebrate Small Wins
On difficult days, the little victories matter. Maybe you didn’t finish everything on your list, but did you show up? Did you try? Did you get out of bed and keep going, even if it felt like trudging through mud? That’s a win. Celebrate it. These small acts of resilience, no matter how tiny, are what keep us moving forward.
Why Compassion Matters for Mental Health
Showing yourself compassion is an essential part of maintaining good mental health. When we constantly berate ourselves for not measuring up, we feed feelings of shame, inadequacy, and stress. But when we learn to accept ourselves, flaws and all, we create space for healing, growth, and peace.
Offering yourself compassion also helps you become more resilient. It’s easier to bounce back from a tough day when you haven’t spent that day tearing yourself down. Compassion doesn’t mean avoiding responsibility or never striving for better—it means recognizing that some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay.
Final Musings
It’s important to acknowledge that sometimes a hard day is more than just a tough 24 hours—it’s part of a difficult season in life. Whether it’s the challenges of early parenthood, managing mental health struggles, or navigating loss, showing yourself compassion during these extended hard times is crucial.
Remember, hard days and tough seasons don’t last forever. But while you’re in the midst of them, treating yourself with kindness can make all the difference. Compassion is not just for the easy days or when everything is going well. Compassion is for the moments when things are messy, unpredictable, and just plain hard.
So, the next time you're facing one of those days, take a deep breath. Let go of the unrealistic expectations. Offer yourself the same patience and love you'd give someone you care about. Or get in touch with Paper Birch Therapy if you need extra support. We’re here for you!
